I’ve got a lot of issues when it comes to relationships. I get scared and clostrophobic. I’m so leary of trying to give a fuck about any one person because of the first kid I fell in love with. Not because of what he did to me, because he did nothing, but what I did to him. And because of Derek, I’m scared that I’m always getting lied to or getting played somehow. I’ve abandonment and trust issues that I know I’m not over yet. I wouldn’t want you or anyone to deal with that.
I guess I just felt a need to explain this to you for good. I believe that you deserve to know this.
I think you also deserve to know that I would come back to you if I knew I wouldn’t do the same thing to you that I do to all the guys I date. If I knew that I wouldn’t push you away, find some way to fuck everything up, or have you put up with me being a complete mess. It’s what I do best. And even then, that would be entirely based on whether you would give me another chance. I just don’t want to hurt you again. : /
And with that being said, I think I’ve elaborated enough.
I don’t know if reading this meant anything to you, but I just needed to get all of that out and let
